Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
