sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
