A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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