I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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