you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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