So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
