The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
