If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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