I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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