She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
