i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
