Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think i have two assholes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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