overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
