i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
