Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
