plz talk dirty to me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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