All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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