I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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