Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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