yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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