yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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