well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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