Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
