Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize