He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
