I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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