it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just found puke in my bra..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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