Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
