I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
