Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
