Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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