Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
