That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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