so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
