I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
