Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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