remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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