I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
