all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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