Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
