Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
