thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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