never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize