Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
