Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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