You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
