a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
