That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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