I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
