your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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