be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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