Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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