I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
