i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
