Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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