i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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