I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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