I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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