I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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