Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
