so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
