i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
